War Has Never Been So Sexy

A friend of mine has had a recent encounter with http://www.omegle.com/ that has inspired the creation of this blog. Omegle.com allows you to chat anonymously with strangers all over the world. No usernames, no account, just raw, direct chats (Yum!) As seen below, the person you chat to is called "Stranger," so you can't help but to feel as if you're breaking mama's number one rule, "Don't talk to strangers!" which adds a bonus point to Team Excitement.

After a few failed chat-attempts, I started chatting with this 23 year old guy from Russia. It was actually really interesting and we had a lot to talk about. He was at work and I was watching a movie, but it went on for a couple hours of genuine interesting conversation. Here comes the twist. Nothing fishy was going on (I'm not into that), but it came up that he didn't have a girlfriend, but rather friends with benefits. I was impressed about his knowledge of English phrases so I asked him about it. He then said something about it making him Egotistic[al] to talk about it (I don't understand half the things he says/means becuase he's Russian). He then goes on to say:

Stranger: ok, i wanna you wrapped around by star-spangled banner)

You: How clever

Stranger: you will personify american democracy)

Stranger: cold war is getting hotter)

Stranger: my warhead is ready for preventive actions

You: well I hope nuclear explosions won't be taking place soon

Stranger: nope, i hope it will be ultimate decision)

Stranger: i gonna use conventional armaments at first

You: I know Russia has cold winters, you'll have to stay warm for the long cold months

Stranger: Spasibo, comrade

Stranger: you can test your anti-missile defense too

Stranger: try to intercept my rockets

You: My first defense would be to send out diversions using my ground troops which will begin to slowly work their way down to no-man's land

Stranger: oh, mean capitalist

Stranger: you beat in weak point

You: Don't start giving in yet, you are still in the Stalin years, you haven't even made it to Khrushchev's time yet

You: the war only get's tougher

Stranger: yeah, right!

Stranger: what a hell

Stranger: i'll show you Kuzka's mother

You: Please, I don't know if I can handle it

Stranger: my specnaz tries to infiltrate into your vault


Side Note: I have no idea what half these things are that he's talking about, I have to look things up on wikipedia, etc. (Kuzka's Mother means: I'm going to teach you a lesson, Specnaz: special forces)


at this point,
I'm really not sure if I'm having sexy talk or just fighting a war:



You: Ohhhh, I almost give in But luckily, I release two small bombs which seem to restrict your efforts

Stranger: great Stalin said we must be strong

Stranger: at first i'm deactivating your bombs with my sappers from Tongue Company

You: ohh, they are difficult bombs to deactivate

Stranger: we have proverb "Sapper make a mistake only once"

Stranger: Red Alert!

Stranger: silos are opened

You: You better try to accomplish your goals before you lose all of your weapons

Stranger: i have two main objectives

Stranger: and i doubt what's primary

You: how will you reach your objectives?

Stranger: i wanna to strike

Stranger: you need a lesson, yankie

You: oh you think so?

You: well little do you know, that I had a secret weapon that was not yet used

Stranger: is it in your area 51?

It just kept going, he went on to talk about propaganda infiltration, i don't even know, then capitalist economy, the CIA...

Stranger: soviet propaganda is crude but effective

You: thank goodness we americans can take a lot

Stranger: yeah, that is american society of consumption

Stranger: you can consume lot of stuff

You: We do take a lot in

Stranger: i call that an example of effective american management

Stranger: maybe it's one of benefits of capitalism

You: you always want the consumer to be satisfied

Stranger: demand causes supply

You: it's a great motto

Stranger: God bless America


Go to http://www.omegle.com/ and try to come up with an equally hilarious conversation and send it in to be posted on the blog. This could be good, people!